Thank you for coming today
MC introduces themselves, with pronouns
Instructors introduce themselves, with pronouns
Whatever kind of sex you like, bondage can make it better
Bondage for sex should be sexy and connective
Building sexy connection will be a focus throughout this class
Technical connection: rope handling skills
Emotional connection: techniques for intimacy
Spiral wrap technique: useful and great for skill-building
About frictions, especially the Munter
Spiral futomomo
We are in fact gonna talk about naughty bits in this class
Crotch rope, dildo harness, vibrator harness
Piledriver position
One rope connection and rope handling exercise
Bottoms are full partners and have as much to learn as tops
"Best bottoms" understand tying; "best" tops understand bottom experience
Each module has a technical skill and application of that skill
Learn core skills
Get an overview of technical skills
See how it all comes together in a scene
During lecture, focus on learning “why”
We’ll break into small groups to practice
This is the time to ask questions
Also a great time for adaptations for bodies & play styles
During this phase, focus on learning “how”
There are no formal breaks: do self care during pods
Point out bathrooms, water, exits
Wear what you like, but keep bottom bits covered
Covid: wear your masks, we tested this morning
If you didn’t come together, don’t tie together
We have appropriate content for singles in each pod
It’s the first thing in your handouts because it’s the most important thing
We’ll talk about it a lot, starting now:
You should extend rope during the demo
Mention in it passing, but don’t go into details (we’ll do it in pods)
Single column tie around one leg, right below the crotch
Spiral up around torso, binding arms to torso
Go over one shoulder and spiral down
We did a bondage!
It’s very adaptable, but not very secure
We need to lock the crossings together
Don’t teach the Munter yet: that’s coming up next
Repeat the demo, but Munter at each crossing
Now it’s much more secure
Commonly used building block
People sometimes call it a nodome
Tie a tight column tie around chest / waist, knot in back
Attach a different color of rope in back, come over shoulder
In general, frictions wrap around without threading through a hole
Knots generally involve threading through a hole
There’s one subtlety we should talk about
When we double back, we can go on the left or the right
Does it matter?
If we’re going straight across, it doesn’t matter
Set up the demo position again and build a Munter
But if we’re exiting at an angle, it does matter
Closed Munter: exit angle pulls the Munter together & binds it
Open Munter: exit angle pulls the Munter apart & weakens it
Simple rule: double back on the side you’re going to exit on
It’s a way to bind the upper & lower parts of the leg together
Great for immobilization, opening legs, genital access
Generally not great for penetrative sex
Sometimes called a frog leg or frog tie
We need to start with an anchor—the ankle is the best choice
Snug but not tight
On the first wrap, gently push the leg closed
Tying a partner? Begin on the outside. Solo? Begin on the inside
Tension should be even and fairly snug
Wraps should be evenly spaced and go 2/3 of the way up the leg
Closer to the knee: more effective, but more likely to slip off
Make a final flat wrap around the top, intersecting the top spiral
Make a series of Munters down the crease
Because we’re exiting at 90°, open/closed isn’t an issue
Go the same way each time for symmetry
Keep the line snug, but don’t distort the wraps
Make a 90° bend at the bottom wrap, go between thigh and calf
Works better if you don’t do a Munter here
Make sure to get rid of any slack
Make a 90° bend at the bottom wrap on the far side
Go the same way each time for symmetry
Munter on the top wrap
Keeps the top wrap from falling off
Finish with a half hitch around top wrap
Poor rope handling is awkward and distracting
Good rope handling is fast, graceful, connective
Being in control of your rope is sexy and connective
For each technique, demo wrong way & right way
Bottom discusses why the right way feels better
Wrong way: standing back, winding rope around partner
Right way: close up, painting the rope on
Wrong way: pushing and grabbing
Right way: finger hooking like a crochet hook
Wrong way: lots of small pulls
Right way: use your full wingspan
Wrong way: fussing to find the correct strands to pull
Right way: milking all four strands
Wrong way: getting tangled on your partner
Right way: throwing the rope where it needs to go
Teach the square knot rope extension technique
Tie a tight column tie around your waist, knot in back
Line comes over shoulder and Munters to the waist rope
With a Munter in place, show how the exit angle makes it open or closed
Slide finger where rope will go, nail down
Slide rope under finger
Rotate finger, grab rope, pull it through
Painting rope, finger hooking, use your full wingspan
Milk the rope, clearing rope
All of these exercises are appropriate for single students
With the futomomo, it’s a little easier to start on the inside of the leg
Talking about sex is hard
Most of us have internalized prudishness or shame
Shame can be part of the fun/dynamic, shouldn't be the starting point
We also worry about offending others and feel more shame in front of others
If can't talk about sex, can't get or give consent, much less make it fun
Many lack the basic language/terms to discuss what we want
Watching porn gives ideas, but not language
Just knowing the words isn't enough
Ultimate goal is to be able to discuss it out loud with your partners
Think of a word or phrase you're not comfortable saying out loud
(Examples, penis, vagina, cock, cunt, rimming, blow job, strap-ons)
Say it in your head 10 or 20 times
Now cover your mouth and whisper it into your hands 10 or 20 times
When you go home tonight, practice saying it out loud.
Then stand in front of a mirror and say it out loud to yourself.
Put it in a sentence.
Make a list of 10 or 20 words or phrases and go through the same process
Let your partner know you want to share some words with them
Let them know that you like these words, but are uncomfortable with them
Concerned will make them uncomfortable too
Set aside nonjudgemental time/space to share words
If still uncomfortable saying things out loud to them, sit back-to-back and say things out loud to them.
Start with just words.
Work up to putting words into a request.
Alternative- start with email or other written form
Sex doesn’t always involve crotches, but it often does
We’re gonna look at three options:
What is it? Just a rope that goes through the crotch
Why? Because it feels good, especially for many people with vulvas
Fairly snug
We often start in back, but can start in front also
Options for genitals:
Fairly snug
Add knots to put pressure on specific places
Don’t tie it off: hold the rope or tie to a hardpoint
If you don’t have a bio cock, obvs.
Here are some reasons Tornus has used a dildo:
Tie a column tie around the waist, knot in back
Pro tip: tie in front and rotate around to back
Snugness is important for this one
Through crotch up around waist line
Spiral down to dildo height, add dildo
Pro tip: put the condom on first!
If you have a bio cock: maybe right above it
If you don’t: maybe a little lower, nicely on the pubic mound
Square knot underneath dildo
Tie off one end in back
Tie off other end
Quick tips for people who aren’t used to having a cock
Now that we’ve done all that sexy stuff, how’s our rope doing?
Especially if you’re doing sexy bondage, your rope will likely get dirty
Washing is probably more about grossness than disease
But grossness matters
Consider having a dedicated crotch rope for each person
Jute is delicate: don’t wash it
Hemp washes well but will fade and needs extra work
Synthetic is the easiest to wash, usually colorfast
Washing machine works best
Put it in a lingerie bag with a small amount of detergent
Expect hemp to bleed color
Hang rope to dry to avoid tangles & fire hazard
Synthetic is good to go once it’s dry
Hemp needs to be bone dry before storage
You’ll need to oil it to restore the suppleness and softness
Good tension is one of the most important bondage skills
We mean two things by tension:
How tight is correct? Depends on the situation
You should be able to tie well at a range of tensions
Important that tension be even between wraps
Bottom: discuss why even tension is important
Technique for even tension with 2 wrap column tie:
How much tension should you have on the rope as you tie?
Depends on mood and how tight you want rope on body
Tension = connection
Maintain tension the whole time you’re tying
Maintain tension when untying as well
Pacing is an important part of how you build connection
Be intentional with your pacing
Make slow, sensual movements and rope pulls
Take advantage of the sensation of rope dragging across the body
Pauses can be powerful
Fast, intense pulls, especially when making a knot or friction
Keep your partner off balance
Pay attention to pacing in movies and music
Emotional intensity comes from varying the pace
Even frenetically fast action gets boring if it never stops
Create and break a rhythm for surprise or emphasis
Or you can create a rhythm: slow slow slow fast
Having a wide dynamic range gives you options
Tension
Pacing
Not comfortable doing crotch rope in class?
That’s totally fine—work on the ladder futo
Options: split around genitals or don’t
Options: add knots for pressure points
Tension is critical in this tie.
Again: tension is critical here
All of these techniques work well for singles
Simple position but can be a lot of fun
Good for penetration (very deep, which can be good or bad)
Good for vulnerable immobilization
Bottom lies on their back
Column tie the ankles together
Raise legs in air
This is fun but not very immobilizing
Let’s look at 3 variations with increasing degree of restraint
There are lots of options in the handout
Ladder up the legs
Spiral wrap technique on the legs
Legs: to headboard or hardpoint
Arms: to headboard or sides of bed
We’re gonna use body mechanics to our advantage
This can be a really powerful technique
Tie forearms or wrists together behind knees
Can use bar tie if that’s better for your body
Let’s talk about creating and maintaining intimacy
Intimacy goes both ways: top to bottom, bottom to top
Demo paying too much attention to the rope
Demo paying attention to the person
One of the biggest mistakes is paying too much attention to the rope
Do what you’d do if you were being intimate without rope
Intimacy is a conversation: needs to be two ways
Give back energy as well as taking it in
Notice what your partner is doing
Visibly respond to it
Solicit what you like
Communicate via noise, touch, eye contact, leaning in to rope
At a micro level, be intentional about every movement
Speed and grace come from doing less, not doing faster
At a macro level, be intentional about headspace
Everything should support your intended headspace
We’re going to do a very popular exercise
It’s a great way to practice subtle connection skills
A connective way to start tying time or a date to refocus on each other
One of the best riggers we know practices this five hours a week
Bottom holds the bight in front of chest
Rigger wraps the rope around them and unwraps it
Work on connection, pacing, intimacy, connection
Focus on just one thing (clearing, intimacy, etc.)
Work on pacing. Deliberate and slow, then faster and more aggressive
Specific techniques
Bottoms - provide a lot of options
Tops: focus on your partner, not the rope
Bottoms: be an active participant
Basic piledriver just involves tying the ankles together
Variations:
Focus on just one thing (clearing, intimacy, etc.)
Work on pacing. Deliberate and slow, then faster and more aggressive
Specific techniques
Bottoms - provide a lot of options
Work on all the rope handling and connection skills using a spiral futomomo
Learn the ladder-style futomomo
Review and practice open versus closed Munters
If flexibility permits, do one-rope exercise on legs
Can also review and practice dildo and vibrator harnesses
We had a great time—we hope you did also.
What next?
We’re a professional, values-driven kink organization
We think kink should be super fun, and also super ethical
That goes double for kink instruction
We have tons of great stuff on our website
Great place to find classes, parties, events
What / when / where?
What’s it about?
What makes it cool?
Mpox: please put it in the dirty rope bin
Individual instructors pimp their events & classes
Thank our hosts
Invite hosts to talk about themselves / their events
Go out in the world and have fun!